clint barton is the kind of guy who can hit a fly from 100m away with a bow and arrow but if you yell think fast and throw something at him he will not catch it and it will hit him in the face
BAREFOOT IN THE BATHROOM I REPEAT BAREFOOT IN THE BATHROOM HE IS BAREFOOT IN THIS BATHROOM THIS IS A CVS NOT A BEACH NOT YOUR HOUSE PEOPLE HAVE PISSED ON THIS FLOOR AND JESUS HAS DIED FOR YOUR SINS AND NOT SO YOU CAN BE BAREFOOT IN THIS BATHROOM
breaking news: evil feminist leader Anita Sarkeesian ruins gaming everywhere forever by saying “that’s pretty sexist, how about not doing that.”
nice guys everywhere are suffering. now they cannot beat up a hooker and steal her money without thinking “maybe this is sexist”. the american way has truly collapsed and our nation will never be the same. please take off your fedoras for a moment of silence.
Special skills: extensive Harry Potter knowledge, can watch an entire TV show in a week, knows words to every Disney song, can form abnormally strong attachments to fictional characters, Microsoft Word
The manager said she was impressed with me but due to the number of applicants she doesn’t have a spot for me, and will contact me if one of the successful applicants doesn’t work out. :(
EVEN IF A GIRL IS EMOTIONAL BECAUSE SHES “ON HER PERIOD” DOESNT MEAN ITS A GOOD IDEA TO CALL HER OUT ON IT CAUSE LEMME TELL YOU WHEN IM OPENLY BLEEDING I HAVE ENOUGH RAGE AND APPETITE TO EAT MY WEIGHT IN CHOCOLATE AND I CAN PROBABLY EAT YOU TOO SO BACK THE FUCK UP
I like how this very slowly gets notes like everyone once in a while a girl gets her enemy and then come back and reblogs this
No, because I’m here for you. I’ll pick you up when you don’t have the strength to get back up on your own. I love you, and not in the lets fuck way but in the way that I could go my whole life without finding someone like you as a best friend. People think of soul mates as only people they can *be* with.. And not considering that there are the friends who will last you an eternity.
not a Jackie Chan blog, but wow
Honestly, this is better than a good morning text. It’s 4am and you’re thinking about me.
I’m never not reblogging this because this means so much more than any other post I’ve seen and ugh.
i used to think good morning texts and such are weird, cheesy and annoying but if you get it from the right person- the one you care most about, the one you constantly think of, the one you worry most, the one who makes you happy, the one who makes you smile with the simplest things, the one you patiently wait for and the one who feels like home- that’s when you’ll really appreciate it.
want this :(